The Upside of the Flu

Well, this week has been just weird. I had a bunch of "meals out" scheduled and I was nervous about going off of my Jenny Craig food. The first order of business was a reunion with some old friends from my class last year. It was at the fabulous Stacey's downtown and since it was a late gathering, I decided to eat my Jenny entree before I went and when I got there, I ordered a lovely spinach salad, minus the bacon. It was delectable! I drank lemon water as we sat outside in the 80 degree weather....it was simply fab.

Fast forward a few nights later when I was to meet yet another group of old friends for dinner at the not-quite-so-fabulous Chili's. Don't get me wrong, I do love Chili's, but I knew it would be slim pickins when it came to healthy alternatives. I decided to go ahead and eat my meal there, because after looking at their menu online, there was not even a healthy salad choice! Although, they do offer a "guiltless grill" section, so I picked a chicken sandwich with steamed veggies, devoured it, drank my lemon water and chalked this one up as another victory.

The very next night was going to be a treat. My dear friend Michelle had planned a very special birthday dinner (in my honor) at her home and, as a side note, she does not know that I am on the Jenny Craig program and I'm not sure she'd approve, but that's another story (love you Michelle!). So anyhow, I decided this would be my splurge. After all, I had not splurged even once and this was a special night. Well, not to get into the gory (sp?) details, but as I tried to enjoy the yummy food, my stomach was just not having it. At first, I thought my body was rejecting the indulgence simply due to the fact that it was more food than I had eaten in weeks, but in fact, I had come down with the stomach flu. Wow- it was bad. But the silver lining here is (cover your eyes if easily grossed out) all those extra calories were down the drain! Seriously though, I don't know how people purge on purpose-yuck!

So I have not been eating much of anything this week and I would expect to have a substantial loss. I just hope that when I do get my appetite back, I can keep it under control and not get too psyched out if the numbers go up a bit and balance out.

I'm headed out the door with Steve, Kaylie and the dog for an easy walk. Weigh in is on Friday- we'll chat more then. :)

Week 2 Weigh In

Ummm, something must be wrong with my scale. It says I've lost another 3.5 lbs! That makes 8 lbs in 2 weeks! What?? The goal is 1 - 2 pounds per week. I am stoked! It must be all of that cheesecake I'm eating. ;)

Dessert, Please!

Did you know that I get to eat cheesecake on this diet?? Seriously....cheesecake. I can have a piece everyday if I want. This is the best diet EVER! Cheesecake!!! I mean, if I am having a moment, I just think to myself, "no worries, you'll have your cheesecake soon and everything will be OK." Cheesecake.

Perhaps that's how I got here in the first place. I tend to make things all better with treats. And boy did I find that out plain and clear a couple of days ago! Josh and I had gotten into a heated argument and it ended with him saying some pretty hurtful stuff and me literally in tears. It was bad. And as I stomped around the kitchen not knowing quite how to handle myself, I got a mad urging for sweets. The box of Easter chocolates (See's, at that) was sitting in plain view and I'll be darned if I didn't walk right over as if to eat one (or 5)! I was CRAVING the goods. I looked around for what else I could shove in my mouth that might not do as much damage as the candy. I remember thinking, "what are you doing??", when it really hit me. I am a total emotional eater. I guess I've always known that, but I'm not sure I've ever really watched it play out in such detail right before my eyes! I was very aware of what was going on. And I stopped myself. I took a deep breath and really analyzed the situation. I am telling you, it was powerful.

Anyhow, I am just completing my second week on Jenny Craig and I absolutely LOVE this program! (after all, I get to eat cheesecake) I told someone yesterday it was the "lazy man's diet", but I would like to publicly take that back. There is nothing lazy about what I am doing. Granted, it sure makes it easier to have all of my meals (and desserts!) in the freezer, already prepared, BUT, I am working hard to stay in control. I am resisting urges to eat when I'm happy, sad, depressed, tired, etc. I am walking places instead of driving! I am going out with friends to the best restaraunts in town and ordering spinach salad. I am giving up Coke. I am trying to like Lattes instead of Mochas. These are big things, people. And I am doing it. Yay for me!

I weigh in tomorrow....I will let you know. :)

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Nearly 20 years and more than 60 lbs. later.

It's time for a change!

Week 1 Weigh In

Just got back from a great walk! I have officially completed 7 days of Jenny Craig. I have lost 4.5 lbs. Woohoo! I know this will not be a normal weekly loss, but I am stoked! Here we go, week 2!

I like to MOVE IT, MOVE IT (not really ,but I'm gonna anyways)

What?? You say I have to exercise, too? A handful of you have asked what I am doing for exercise and with good reason. Of course, everyone knows to be successful at weight loss, you need to be physically moving, too. Ask anyone who has lost weight and kept it off for years and the answer is always, "eating right and exercise". Oh why couldn't I have been one of those genetic mutants who just IS skinny, naturally? High metabolism, whatever.

Ok, so I need to get active. And my answer to you is this. I am walking. I am walking in the evenings with Steve and Kaylie. We haven't walked every night, but my goal for now is every other night. Remember....baby steps. If any of you are embarking on this journey with me, let it be known that if you put too much pressure on yourself all at once, you will most likely fail. And you will feel defeated. And you may become discouraged. So take it slow. I feel victorious in the "food" part of this and I am working on the "move it, move it" part.

p.s. If anyone wants to walk with me, respond with the time and place and I will be there! (barring any previous commitments to these little rugrats I call my kids) :)

Little Victories

Day by day. One day at a time. That is the only way to do this. I am completing my 3rd day on the program and I feel good! If I look at the big picture, it can seem overwhelming and 3 days seems like nothin'! But this time, I will take it little by little and celebrate my successes one moment at a time.

Today was (still is, I suppose) Easter and it was a day I was dreading. Not from a "my Jesus has risen and I am forgiven- HALLELUJAH!" aspect, but because of the yummy treats that would, no doubt, be tempting me. It is a day typically spent with the whole family at mom and dad's. That means lots of GREAT food. I was anticipating the temptations and dreading the "deprived-you can't have that" feeling. But here I sit after 8pm and I feel victorious! I feel as if I was able to use my knowledge of portion control, eat the delicious food, but not over-do it. I skipped the homemade rolls and the pie for dessert. I didn't eat one piece of easter candy and even resisted the yummy cupcakes that I baked! And it wasn't so bad! I felt satisfied and content in the knowledge that I am making choices to return to a healthy me! I am excited. I am encouraged. I can do this. :)

The Beginning

So here I sit. My Jenny Craig food is put away and I contemplate the journey that I am embarking on. I must admit, I am freaked out. I am worried that I will fail (again). I am dreading that hungry feeling, the shakes, the headaches. A wise man once said nothing worth doing is ever easy. This will not be easy, but it is definitely worth doing.

My story begins likes this. I was never overweight as a kid. As a matter of fact, quite the contrary. I was tall and skinny and I remember my grandma telling me that I was so lucky~ I could eat whatever I wanted and stay so skinny! I guess I took that to be the truth, when in fact, it has become a lie that has haunted me for nearly 20 years now. Maybe it began when I was 16 and my first job was at the ice cream parlor. I loved that job. I worked every weekend my last 2 years of high school and completely indulged in the "perks". I LOVE ice cream. People would say "you must be sick of ice cream" and I would just laugh. No way. No how. As much as I would like to be sick of ice cream , it will never happen. It's kind of like those people who are "addicted to the gym". Oh, how I wish this was me. (sidenote- if one more person does in fact state to me that they are addicted to the gym, or to running, or to pilates, I may just punch them in the face- out of pure jealousy, of course. You "gymmies" have been warned.) I have spent the last few years coming into my own and accepting the very way I was made. I am totally type "B", which is good in many situations. I do not stress out easily; I am calm, mellow, easy going, laid back. I have no problem relaxing. The problem is, I may be TOO mellow, causing laziness to set in. I lack motivation when it comes to my health. I would rather take a nap than take a walk. I have no one to blame but myself. I just don't get into the uncomfortableness of exercise. My mind REMEMBERS that it sucked last time I went for a run and I don't want to feel that again. Hence, I am overweight and out-of-shape. And being overweight hasn't bothered me all that much for the past 10 years or so. My husband keeps his sweet mouth shut on the issue, friends are kind and unspoken and my kids don't seem to love me any less. But as I stepped on the scale last week and hit an unmentionable number, (i will mention it when I'm good and ready) I just felt sick. I WAS sick. I AM sick. My blood pressure is high, my cholesterol is high and I have recently been put on meds to control both. WHAT?? I understand my grandparents being on these meds, even my parents, but ME? I am 38 years old. I feel like I'm 60. My body aches. My knees hurt, my back hurts. And I have way too much more life to live to go around feeling like a big blob. I want to know my grandkids and be one of those cool grandmas who does all kinds of fun stuff with the kiddos. (like MY mom- who is type A, a regular walker, totally fit and a bit diet "obsessed", but that's another post).

So here goes. I start tomorrow. My goal is to lose 50 pounds. (yikes!)